hearts, letters and soulsFor all the words in the worldI cannot fathom who or whatMakes the changesThat decide the out comeI cannot find the style to breakHearts and souls with lettersThe end product does notJustify the meansIt brings the break of neutralThe grind of everythingGears that move all too quicklyThrough the decisions I have no choice overToo tired to breakBut too awake to shut downI shudder out of controlOff a track I never started onTo train has derailedThe fear has crept inThe end is nearBut I am too afraid to meet itWith eyes screwed tightly shutI walk down a path of disillusionmentThat brings me toNothing.
myself, anymoreI can't beginTo write it all downAnd explain the reasonFor the twisted frownIt all closesEdges slowly backI feel my frail self worthCrumble and crackLaying on the groundBleeding and soreI can only give loveNot much moreMy heart justCan't stop bleedingGently closing offEvery feelingAs I sink lowerThe horror closes inMy lungs suddenlyMade from tinSilence everywhereAll aroundNot a wordAnd not a soundI feel the clawFrom deep insideReminding meI cannot hideFrom who I amOr where I goThere is one thingThat I knowMy skin is warmThe smiles are realAnd now I'm notSure how I feelPainfully unsureUncharacteristically shyMy thinning nervesAre beginning to fry
Sleep well my friendDear MattThere are no words for this loss, this pain that I feel, I wish I had the time to tell you how much you had begun to mean to me, how much you already did and how much you still do.I thought I had a lifetime of shows and drinking to get to know you, birthdays and working. I thought I had the time to tell you I loved your passion and spirit, and how much I adored the band. How proud I was to call Terakai my friends. Every time you got on stage with the boys I was so excited and so happy to see you all up there killing it. Every time someone new heard your music and moved to it I was constantly feeling so elated that they got it. They got the world of effort and time that went into writing what will be an e.p that changes the face of Readings music scene. Not just Reading but the UK scene.We have not lost that drive, if anything we will work harder than ever so show people how great everything you did was. The boys are a force, and they know you are with them every
Through my heart you will feelAnger is like a diamond glittering in my eyes.It makes me feel sordid and dirty, you drive me insane.Your pathetic, you make me feel soiled, you know nothing of what you speak, you are a drunk and a fool, why should I listen, why should I listen to your rambling, you should take those childish words and eat them, swallow them like bitter pills of lemon juice and vinegar, leaving a sour taste in my heart.Metallic and icy I feel the truth sliding down into oblivion , I feel the world changing as I fall deeper into the blissful unaware state that is pure cold hard rage, the rage that consumes me, and eats what is left of my tattered and wrenched soul.Sometimes I can't stand you your words, speak correctly, listen to yourself you nightmare of a human being, are you even human, or do you exist solely to test my patience, my wavering and thinning sliver of the ribbon of hope I had left for my once blossoming and new found sanity .I know you are troubled, problematic and not really focus
Thoughtful FeelingsMoments of lifeFalling in lineNothing much leftBut all will be fineSmiling and sleepingLying I cryFinally waitingFor this to fly byMoments of pure hateCrashing insideAll over bearingAnd too hard to hideWalking and runningBiding it timeWashing and fleetingTrying to rhymeThoughts and feelingsCompressed in my headBroken bleeding eyesFading to deadWhat's going onThis fragile painWhy is this tortureAlways the same